The Drummer, the Mistress, and Me: Notes from a Two-Artist Household

Being a two-artist household makes life interesting, busy, and entertaining—most of the time.

Never in my life did I imagine I’d end up married to someone in a band. Let alone the drummer. You know, the one with the most gear—the one who has to pack in and out a mountain of equipment for every… single… gig.

Yep. That’s the guy I married.

A friend of mine—married to a guitarist—once warned me that being in a band was an illness. Oh... my… goodness. Was she ever spot on.

Over the years, I’ve learned more than I ever expected about drums, cymbals, drumsticks, drum hardware, drumheads… the list goes on. Did you know there is such a thing called a drum key? I didn't, but I do now.

One especially exciting afternoon, we made a trip to Guitar Center to visit the cymbal room so I could hear the difference between a Zildjian, a Paiste, and a Sabian.(For you neophytes: yes, there are differences—you just have to listen closely. 😉)

He thinks I don’t pay attention to the drum set. But when a new cymbal or drumhead or anything else makes an appearance—I know.

I ... always ... know.

(I affectionately call it his “mistress.” He’s spent hours and hours painting it, refurbishing the parts, polishing the cymbals.)

Drum set in the living room to have the drumheads replaced and tuning.

My little drummer boy. :)

The drum set pre-refinishing

Every now and then, he’ll say:

“I’m happy with the drum set now. I don’t think I need anything else.”

And every time, I roll my eyes—because I know.

I know it’s only a matter of time before something “needs” an upgrade.

But that’s the rhythm of creative partnership, isn’t it? One of us chasing the next idea, the next sound, the next spark—while the other rolls their eyes, offers a snack, and quietly cheers them on.

It’s messy.

It’s loud.

It’s never boring.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

❤️ Thanks for reading The 3rd Flamingo

A blog for art lovers, creative wanderers, and anyone who’s ever made a beautiful mess.

🎸 Want to see Matt in action? His band Tretura is competing in the KATT Battle of the Bands on August 2nd!

Come vote, scream, and maybe spot me rolling my eyes behind the drum kit.

👇 Tell me your favorite creative partnership story in the comments! Whether it’s drums,

dance, design, or something totally off-the-wall—I want to hear it. Let’s trade stories, messes, and maybe a few eye rolls.